somebody let me outta here!

well, this afternoon was one of unspeakable frustration.  argh.
i just finished a marathon poop and pee cleanup.  seriously.  i think all of the young ones in this abode decide to plan their attack at once.

joshijah has been having issues with pooping on the toilet. 
pee? no problem.  
but do you think i can get that kid to poop?  nah. …no amount of bribery in the form of candy or toys can convince him to “drop the kids off at the pool”.  
this afternoon i put him down for his usual afternoon nap, sans diaper. 
usually not a problem. 
until today…
i thought he was sleeping peacefully, until hosanna (who had napped earlier and was crawling around the house playing) busted into his room to say hello…i went to retrieve her, and to my surprise and awe, i found i big poop ON.HIS.PILLOW…with random bits smeared on the blankets, the stuffed animals, his legs , oh and Lightening McQueen (buh-bye Lightning!)
ok, so i am frustrated.  i mean, we spent time sitting in the bathroom, trying to relax and let it go….nothing.  and then this.

so, i haul him off to the tub to clean him up. 
hosanna follows us, and promptly sticks her hands into the toilet bowl.  she’s fishing for lake trout.   
upon my arrival back in the bedroom to strip the sheets, pillow, and blanket, i slip and practically fall on my face.  apparently the dog got the memo that we had remodelled and the kids’ room was now the spot to relieve oneself. 
everyone else is doing it, so why not?  

so… i haul the dog in to show her what she’s done and let her know of my stern disapproval before removing her from the house.  hosanna races into the room, and does the slip and slide through the pee….

finally i make my way back into the bedroom to continue stripping the sheets, and now clean up the dog pee.  grr….. joshijah (naked) is standing in a big ol’ puddle of water.  huh?!?!  water? where’d that come from? 
“what’s that joshijah?” i  bark ask. 
“PEE!” he says delightedly.   yes….deLIGHTedly!

he had seen how excited i was when the dog did it, so he thought he’d give it a whirl. 

all the while, in the background plays joshijah’s music:
“in my life, Lord, be glorified today….”  
i thought that was funny…
i almost cracked a smile there.  
but not quite.

so, kids out, dog out….everyone and everything OUT!

then, i cried.  i actually cried. 
i know. i’m a baby.
but sometimes its the only thing to do.  
it’s very cathartic. 
sometimes there’s just so much poop you can handle before you break. 

so i start sobbing, hoping and praying no one comes to the door and sees the mascara running down my face and gets a whiff of the odors lurking around.  they may wonder….and rightfully so.

i have a feeling this day is going to be longer than most.  🙂



16 responses to “somebody let me outta here!

  1. I’m impressed you have time to put on masacara with all that’s going on there . . . .

  2. oh, its’ just left over from a couple of days ago. i haven’t had time to wash it off.

    (just kidding!!!)


  3. You need to mail this one into to some website that pays money for hilarity…I know that it was at your expense, but I am laughing so hard, my mascara is running….be brave, you’ll be laughing about it one day yourself (when you’re reading Hosanna’s blog!)

  4. yeah. i guess you’re right. 🙂
    i’ll try to be more brave.
    tee hee!

  5. on second thought, bravery won’t cut it…how about investment in the toilet paper industry?…or those super strong paper towels?…you’re ’bout the best Canadian mom I know…

  6. oH Melanie…….I don’t know what to say….except I’m laughing so hard it hurts. (sorry) You do have a way of making it real for all of us.
    I’m sad I can’t be of much help this past 10 days…only 2 to go!!!
    You are so beautiful….poop and all :0

  7. gee, I just had a thought…do we need rain boots to walk around in your house? Poop and all, I can hardly wait…you’ve got a gift, gurl!

  8. maybe rain ponchos too…it gets pretty wild! 😉
    thanks mom. you are beautiful also….i guess i got all that beauty from you. 🙂

  9. Well Mel – you can make it sound sooooo real like we were there!!! But read back to your last entry – where it said how blessed and luck you are!!! NOT “were” but “are” blessed poop and all!!! Love ya!! Friday is only 2 days away !!!

  10. hey rachelle! 🙂

  11. Oh Mel, that is poopy. Get it. Oh man! Good stuff. No seriously, that sounds like a nightmare and I think crying is good for the soul like a recharge for our sanity. I can not imagine dealing with that…like where do you start? You are the woman.

  12. Hi Mel, Wow and I thought I had a tough day yesterday. I found Ethan (who was supposed to be napping) in his bed naked (with only his favorite yellow shirt on) sitting on his bed in a pool of pee. He had removed most of the bedding, his clothing, and apparently fallen asleep naked and was awoken when he peed. He was sobbing because he hates feeling messy. I asked where his clothes were and he told me he put them away in the drawers. All this to say, I feel your pain. I chose to laugh this off yesterday but I have definitely done my share of sobbing as a result of “potty” messes. At least we aren’t alone.

  13. thanks kelly! i do feel like the woman. 😉 ha!
    and emilie, good to hear from you! how is it going with 2 babes now? SO SO BUSY!?! 🙂

  14. There must be something poopy in the air, kind of like a full moon or something.

    We had dirty floors too and immediately after reading your post, I got a wiff of a dirty one standing right behind me. (Wes, not Ethan.)

    I actually was thinking of you when I was cleaning the poop off of our wood floors. Not because I think of you when I clean poop, but I know that you don’t use chemicals. What do you use to clean them with?

    feeling your pain,
    Sarah D

  15. hey sarah!
    ohhhh! you know, its kind of nice to know i am not the only one spending my day in poop. 🙂
    i use straight vinegar on the floors. ours are laminate and it cleans well and disinfects.

    actually, if i am cleaning the WHOLE floor, i mop with a mixture of hot water with vinegar and a little bit of dish soap. works great for me. 🙂 that’s a really good mix for cleaning windows too…the little bit of dish soap helps to add a bit more shine and cuts any grease, etc.

    hope all’s well with you….i was just asking about you guys last night (jer’s parents are here). they said penelope is doing great and she’s a beautiful girl. 🙂

  16. friend of emilie quig. here. thanks for sharing. i have been almost there (minus the dog). i love your blog and living simply philosophy. tops on my lists of favorite things to do: purge!!

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